Friday, February 5, 2010
The Garland that graces my head: my mother, Bobbie (1928-1996)
“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.” Proverbs 1:8-9
My mother has been gone for 14 years this week. Although I certainly know the years that have flown by, it still feels like just a year or so has passed. I dearly miss her still. I was 40 when she left to be with the LORD, which seems too young to lose a precious mother.
After we were all grown, I feel that she was the glue that held my family together. In my own adulthood, though, she was my friend as well as my mother, and I regret not loving her more than I did.
After my marriage, we lived far away when phone calls were expensive and travels occurred only about once a year. I wrote her long letters every week and called about once a month. She wrote long letters and called me about every week. It meant so much to me, but I don’t remember if I ever told her so.
She was already gone when our own family tragedy happened. I still think of her concerning this situation - “if only she was here, would this have happened?” Silly------ I know that “if onlys” should be avoided but I still find myself wondering.
On the other end of the spectrum, I know a mother whose adult children have cut her away from their lives. She is very hurt by their decisions but carries on by mostly pretending she doesn’t care.
The Word says, “Honor your father and mother” ----Which is the first commandment with a promise----”that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:2 (see Exodus 20:12)
I know that, as mothers, we can do beautiful things while we raise our children into adulthood. We can also make huge mistakes during and after we have raised them. We are humans, as well as mothers, who have unbreakable heart-strings to our children, even if they are wayward.
If you feel that your mother left things to be desired, you are angry or hurt by her, or something is just wrong between you two, then you should try to find a way to bridge the gaps and bind the wounds to have a relationship with her. I know that with the LORD all things are possible. Perhaps you can see her in a new light through His eyes.
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1John 4:7-10