Photo by I. Shpilenok, The Wolverine Way, by D. Chadwick
-His paws were as big as his head as a baby.
-He is always foraging for food.
-He thinks your toes, fingers, and elbows are prey.
-He knocks everything off your walls.
-He thunderously lopes through the house murmuring "ers" and "erps".
-He can't be found in the morning.
-He can scale the heights of every piece of furniture you own.
-He uses you as a spring board to get to the heights.
-He pulls out his dry food and pitches it all over the house like prey.
-He shreds every paper product in your home.
-He is always on the hunt for illegal prey, such as foil, earrings...
-He walks around in stealth mode so we do not notice him.
-He runs at top speed from one end of the house to the other.
-He lays and stretches, practically touching wall to wall.
-He never sleeps through the night, thus, you are sleep deprived.
-He doesn't recognize your authority, so "no" is not in his vocabulary.
You know your wolverine is becoming domesticated when:
-He sits on the heat register.
-He curls up in your lap every night.
-He LETS you hug him.
-He hardly ever notices the toilet paper roll.
-He sleeps through the night.
-He sleeps in the same room with you.
-He purrs when all you do is talk to him.
-You arrive home and rarely find a disaster waiting for you.
*this is all, of course, hyperbole.