Monday, November 23, 2015


Oh, am I lamenting.....

Too bad I didn't think of this when the major "red flags" were flying all over the place from "The Manipulator" years ago now. 

 "Turn back, turn back, oh, time in your flight, I just thought of a comeback I needed last night."

I was so full of mercy for her that I wasn't discerning on her consistent rude behavior. With God's strength, I overlooked her many, many bad behaviors out of my own kindnesses.  

And so~~~ naively...I was expecting this "christian" woman to choose to glorify God as time went by because of the mercies shown to her, but, instead, she didn't change for the good, she only became more devious.

Oh, LORD, have mercy!

I knew then, and I know now, that the LORD was with us throughout these times and all which has occurred since, even though she seemingly has "won" or at the least, she seems to have gotten away with her perniciousness.

As His child I have stayed at His feet, living in His comfort, and walking in His strength. I give Him my woundedness, my bitterness, which crops up at surprising moments, my agonies, and sometimes I ask Him, 

"Why! Oh, why, my Father! Why?"  

I was walking in faith and trusting Him whole heartedly way back then also...and yet, He allowed this hypocrite to exploit and destroy parts of my life.  

I have said so many times as  my own testimony, that this last decade of my life (now so many more years later) has been the worst of my life, and yet, the very best, because I have drawn closer to the LORD more than I ever had been before in this horrific time of agony.  

I have chosen to seek His face in my pain, and He has showered His mercies on me from "day one" and every day since in ways which show me that He is holding me tight in this storm which continues to rage. 

And so how can I complain?  And yet, like the persistent widow, I cry out to Him, always for justice!  

And, sometimes, I just cry.  

He hears me. My faith is more precious than gold, and it results in praises, honor, and glory to Him!  And this is why I have life, to glorify Him!  

"It" is not about me, it is about Him!

1 Peter 1:6-7
"In this you greatly rejoice, 

even though now for a little while, 

if necessary, 

you have been distressed by various trials, 

so that the proof of your faith, 

being more precious than gold which is perishable, 

even though tested by fire, 

may be found to result in praise 

and glory 

and honor 

at the revelation of Jesus Christ"



Anonymous said...

Weeping with you dear Jill. I am so sorry to hear that the hurtful and abusive person in your life has done nothing but become more devious in response to your mercies. May our Lord grant your heart peace: and He will keep them in perfect peace whose eyes are stayed on Him. May He also give you and Glenn wisdom to shelter your souls in the cleft of the rock as the 'raging storm' passes by.


The Piper's Wife said...

It must be the time of year and the holidays which seem to always be a more difficult time to keep my eyes on Jesus even in the circumstances. He certainly holds on tight to me and showers mercies continually~I know I am not alone.

Thank you for your kindnesses, precious and a treasure.

Praising the LORD with you!