Oh, ugh...My goodness....Here I am again writing about Gossip. I have to admit that I am sick of this subject. I suppose this may be because of the painful memories I have had to contemplate just to write only minute (tiny) parts to make a point. It is no wonder it has taken 3 years to post this information on Gossip.
In my first post, "Thoughts on Gossip", I was thankful for the commenter who pointed out how abusers can further abuse their victims by unjustly accusing them of gossiping.
"I would add this: "gossip" is often an accusation leveled at abuse victims who are trying to seek help and counsel. It's a means of trying to make them be quiet, and not bring the wicked deeds of the abusers to the light."
We have certainly dealt with these accusations through all of these years from our own pernicious "certain group of people" ( Grand Manipulators/Controllers).
After a person has been manipulated and controlled, I do not think they can ever forget the feelings, the fear, the anxiousness of when they were controlled by their Abusers. They now have "Red Flags" popping up all throughout their life in all sorts of subject matters. It is like a door has been opened to detect deception.
"Once you learn to discern, there's no going back. You will begin to spot the lie everywhere it appears"
I have heard it said that former abuse victims can see the "Red Flags" of others (manipulators and controllers) even though other people do not see it.
Although this is a really good thing for the former victims, sometimes other 'normal' people may scoff at you for being so "critical" of others. We have certainly seen this in so many Christians who are not thinking Biblically, but only with their feelings.
Do not discount your "Red Flags", but be cautious as you deal with other people.
When the Abuser continues to try to control you even when you are no longer part of them, these horrible feelings can be 'front and center' to some degree. I can remember how I used to handle their accusations, with fear and trembling, until time passed and I remembered who I was in Christ and, then, I finally began to think rightly even when they would accuse. Praise God!
Abusers definitely want to hide their sins! After all, they have put themselves way up on that (unholy) pedestal they built for themselves. It has taken years of manipulations and control of innocent people they have used and abused.
When you (one of their victims) actually speaks up and points out their evil, they can not allow this! They must do all they can to discredit you and destroy you, if you do not obey and be quiet. They will use all their minions (the other victims of their manipulation and control) to where you begin to question yourself because in the past you have trusted the minions!
Just one of a zillion examples I could share:
We have never shared everything of our ordeals of our agony out in public, but we have asked for prayer once in a while. The Manipulators' sins are already known, one reason is because they have a huge history of their behavior and the other is because the whole church body knew. In the past our counselors have tried to speak with our Manipulators privately. I say all this to show that the Manipulators really do not know all that we have shared, only that we have spoken with certain others.
*Anyone who is deceptive will assume evil is being perpetrated against them. This is where their minds go.
*It is really a gross thing to "watch" pernicious people connive in their evil schemes.
My one example: Years later out of the blue we were told, "you can see 'so and so' if you repent and communicate to everyone all over the world and telling them that you are the evil people."
The ridiculousness of this demand was laughable, if it wasn't so tragic.
Can you see the "Red Flags"?
We live in the long standing accusations for years now. It is a difficult road, but the LORD is with us. We have His Word, and He gave us trusted, solid Christian friends who we counsel us when the manipulators mess with our thinking. Meanwhile, we live our lives for the LORD and glorify His name.
Two more thoughts:
Sin, any sin, can lead to a deeper sin and then to other sins. Gossip is just one of the sins. You need to realize that what you feed is what will grow. Stop feeding your sins!
"For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.