Monday, January 14, 2013

God's design: Marriage as a Beautiful Song


from Stan* at Winging It where you can read his post in its entirety.

Stan begins with an analogy of listening to beautiful music on a high fidelity (hi-fi) record player instead of just the plain radio and the "music"  of marriage with a "high fidelity" or "hi-fi" wife.

"A man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Gen 2:24).

...The wife, then, who wishes to faithfully reproduce the music of marriage would be required to "leave and cleave" -- to leave mother and father and cleave to her husband.

**This is very important for a healthy marriage:  
**PLEASE NOTE:

The parental relationship remains, to be sure, but it is now different, altered, decreased. 

The single most important relationship to the married woman is her husband.

A key to this marriage music is God's design. 

Eve was designed to be what the King James calls a "help meet for him" (Gen 2:20). The description is of a "suitable helper", a person designed by God to assist the husband, filling in his shortcomings, shoring up his weaknesses, propping up his failings. 

A high fidelity wife is the strength behind her husband....

Ephesians 5:21-24, 30
Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. ... Let the wife see to it that she respect her husband"

We all know that it says "Be subject to one another." Paul goes on to explain in what sense. For wives, he says, "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord." 

That should really come across with a jolt. 

"As to the Lord." This is no small submission. 

Indeed, when he repeats it, he expands it. "Wives ought to be to their husbands in everything." 

Everything? 

Not my word. Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit (and not by some misguided misogyny), used the word. 

Wives, if you wish to be a faithful wife, truly reproducing the music that God intended for marriage, submission to your husband in everything is required.

"Well, now," some of you might be saying, "submitting to a good husband is a great idea. But we don't all have good husbands." Or, rather, you will be tempted to say that. So Peter interjects, "Wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives" (1 Peter 3:1). 

Thus, Error #1 in this "wives submit" objection is to limit the scope. Paul disagrees and includes everything. 

Error #2 is to assume it is only to good husbands. Wives with bad husbands are exempt. Peter disagrees and includes disobedient husbands.

**please see below -"As to the LORD"- please see below**

...Wives need to be as faithful in their marriages as husbands are required to be in theirs. 

That means more than sexual fidelity. (And let's be honest; women are as prone to lust after someone not their husband as husbands are for those other than their wives. It just likely looks different because it's cloaked in a romance novel or love scene in a movie.) 

God has designed marriage indeed to be a beautiful song. 

A godly wife, if she is to fulfill her God-given role, must be a hi-fi bride, faithfully reproducing those tones. 

They include unity with her husband above all others, 

a submission that surpasses the character of her husband and extends to all corners of life, 

a respect for the husband that borders on fear, 

and providing for her husband's sexual desires. 

Just as Adam complained to God, "It was that woman you gave me" (Gen 3:16), it's easy to set aside many, even most, of these components and point at that husband. There is nothing in the music of marriage that allows for that. 

Wives, if you are to be faithful to your marriage as God intended, these are some of the key components. 

God will hold your husbands responsible for their fidelity. 

He will also hold you responsible for yours. 

How faithful are you?

                                 *
*Note my last two blog posts on Fidelity and The Faithful Husband by Stan.

** "As to the LORD" doesn't mean accepting or ignoring abuse of a physical, spiritual, or emotional nature.  These behaviors are sinful and a wife, in a humble spirit, needs to confront her husband with his sin first (Matthew 18:15) and second, if he refuses repentance, have two witnesses with you where you humbly confront him (your elders or godly men) and third, if he still refuses, you go before the church to hold him accountable.  

If your pastor, elders, and church will not listen to you, then you will need to search out another Biblical avenue to help you (godly friends, Biblical Counselors). If you are under physical abuse or extreme psychological abuse then leave the home until you can get some help or he actually repents.  Safety is the utmost.


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