Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Subtle spiritual abuse can drag you under


I am highlighting The Watchman's Bagpipes blog post of 12/31/12 as we begin this brand new year of trusting God in all things.


We have all heard of how people who deal with cash in their professions actually learn what real money feels like so that they can identify the counterfeit by touch.  As Christians we have also heard that if we know God's truth, His Word, then we can identify falsehoods through the grid of His truth.  Both of these statements are true.

In these evil days one can make falsehood look and sound very convincing.  The slight changes made in God's truth can be very subtle.  We may have to analyze and contemplate what we hear and read to discover some false teachings, including in our interactions with other Christians.  The Christian's life is not a breeze; we must pay attention!  We need to always be aware, and searching for God's truth no matter what we read or hear.

As I read the list below, I could fit the spiritually abusive group we have dealt with in to every point, but one!  Each one of these are "red flags" which we saw, and at one time, gave them a "pass".

Thankfully, God removed us from this subtly destructive group of people years ago, but they still lead many we care for along into their pernicious falsehoods of God's real truth.

May you be educated and encouraged as you not only learn how spiritually abusive people can subtly pervert God's truth, but also how precious and full the grace of God's truth actually is, so that you and those you love will not be drug under falsehoods.

Spiritually Abusive Religion or Religious Leader



...(by Joan Yorba-Gray with Colleen Tinker) about spiritually abusive religions and religious leaders, including an excellent chart comparing spiritually abusive teaching to healthy teaching.... 

Abusive:  Coerces obedience with power, manipulation, domination and fear.
Healthy:  Leads the flock in his care with a servant’s heart and seeks cooperation and fellowship (Mk.9:35)

Abusive:  Uses the Bible for his own purposes, i.e., to control and dominate the flock.
Healthy:  Uses biblical doctrines in teaching and encourages the flock to do their own personal Bible study and study in groups.

Abusive:  Has rigid or overly-enmeshed boundaries, and the members of the church are closed off from other groups.
Healthy:  Has appropriate boundaries with members of the church.  Doesn’t try to become enmeshed in their lives or cut them off from other Christians.

Abusive:  May be narcissistic and believe that he knows what God thinks and may even see himself as “God’s mouthpiece.”  Authority goes from the top down.
Healthy:  Knows that God works through the Holy Spirit in each believer to give us discernment; accountability goes both ways.

Abusive:  Sees itself as the only “true” church; has black and white thinking - us vs. wrong (the others are wrong).
Healthy:  All those who have accepted the finished work of Christ on the cross, without need for personal performance, are brothers and sisters in the Lord.  There are not “superior” believers; all believers are equally loved by God (Romans 8:1).

Abusive:  Promotes legalism and perfectionism.  This gives the leader ability to control people by their fears of not being saved and going to hell.
Healthy:  Knows that the Christian is saved by grace through faith and salvation cannot be earned by one’s behavior (Eph. 2:8-9).

Abusive:  Has obsession with discipline in which those who disagree are shunned, censured or expelled from the church.  Leader expects to be obeyed because he has “the mind of Christ.”...  Many sins are tolerated if a person is a loyal tithe-paying member.
Healthy:  If the individual has erred, he confesses the sin and receives forgiveness (1 Jn.1:9).  Believers are not shunned or expelled for disagreements on non essential matters of faith.

Abusive:  Encourages “group think” by using rules and regulations that are constantly repeated, taught and reinforced by church literature, classes and teaching from the pulpit.
Healthy:  Encourages the Bible as truth, does not obsess about rules and regulations, but focuses on helping individuals grow in their relationship with the Lord.

Abusive:  Believes the end justifies any means.  The denomination sponsors community events and public activities without saying who they are in order to gain proselytes.  Immoral or criminal conduct on the part of a leader may be covered up for the sake of “the mission”.... 
Healthy:  If the end that is desired is not consistent with God’s Word, then no means will be acceptable.

Abusive:  Uses end-time events to promote its own eschatology.  Eschatology itself isn’t wrong, but when the leaders use end time teaching to control the flock by promoting fear and anxiety, isolation from other Christians, perfectionistic behavior, uncertainty about salvation and “extra-biblical” teachings, they are in error.  There may be an obsession with calculating the dates, situations or events that predict Jesus’ return...
Healthy:  Teaches that no one knows the time of Jesus’ coming (Mk. 13:32).

Abusive:  Uses insider double-talk with a confusing doctrine.  The group encourages blind acceptance of its opposing teachings and rejection of logic through complex presentations on incomprehensible doctrines.
Healthy:  The Bible is the doctrine upon which teachings are based; other ancillary teaching texts must be consistent with biblical truth.


While some spiritually abusive religions or religious teachers will be guilty of every one of these, most will probably just be guilty of most, or at least several of these descriptions.

If you recognize any of these as applying to a group you are in or a teacher you follow, get out of that group and leave that teacher as quickly as possible.  If you know someone in a group described above as abusive, teach them why they need to leave such a group.  Be discerning with everyone you follow; some can be very subtle and slowly drag you in.

                                       *

LORD, God, may you continue to open the eyes of the blinded people we all know, who are caught up in any and all falsehoods.  Praising You for your mercies!

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